Most successful entrepreneurs recall learning curves created by failures
There are countless articles and opinions about the failures on the road to success, and how they can be reframed as positives by calling them important milestones and motivators. “Think positive speak” is beautifully illustrated by the famous popularised quote by Thomas Edison on his invention of light bulbs: “I have not failed, I have just found 10 000 ways that do not work.” Providing those in search of success with motivation, action plans and some hype is all good and well but does this really address the core issue? Will success bring success? On a recent sabbatical I was fortunate enough to take my family to Zanzibar. We had been advised by a friend about the island’s many recreational attributes, each of which seemed to fulfill a specific member of the family’s idea of what a successful holiday would be. Snorkeling for dad and daughter, sunshine and endless beaches for mom and unbelievable fishing for our son and a most affordable rustic cottage directly on the beach, away from the tourists. It turned out to be most disappointing with missed connection flights, unexpected long drives and less than glamorous beaches.
‘…an acorn can only become an oak tree… regardless of what it aspires to become’
By all accounts the holiday failed to meet our expectations. Mozambique would have done the trick at one-tenth of the price. Back to Edison who maintained he had not failed, but “found 10 000 ways that did not work” and the introductory question: Providing those in search of success with motivation, action plans and some hype is all good and well, but does this really address the core issue? Will success bring success? I believe one must give considerable thought to these questions before one can get to one’s own definition of success and making sure it will bring with it what we want. It is a bit like my family having failed to research our holiday but assuming that all would be well since “it ticked all the boxes”.
So what goes wrong? Why do those who have gained influence and power in the world of politics and business turn into faded images of their young, personable selves? So where should one start? Emotional intelligence-based coaching, provides a key answer. In order to be successful it is essential that one’s core values and identity are aligned with one’s goals and in harmony with one’s purpose in life. When misalignment occurs, a number of things happen.
Firstly, when our definition of success is not in sync with who we are and what we want to become, we will soon realise the destination chosen does not bring the reward that was expected. As Zanzibar showed, you either change your destination and start a new journey or you reframe your expectations. This requires an immense amount of mental energy and a well-developed emotional intelligence. Secondly the journey, unavoidable obstacles and eventual arrival at a destination that does not live up to expectation, all become the source of a growing deep seated inner frustration which manifests in extreme forms of negative stress and underlying discontentment. How, in our search for success, can potential misalignment be identified or rather avoided altogether? It all starts with a personal audit. If you do not know yourself, how will you know that your idea of success will bring you the reward you really want? It is not that difficult but it requires being brutally honest with oneself when answering the following questions when evaluating one’s definition of success:
- What are my true passions, natural talents, interests and abilities?
- What inspires me and why?
- What is my life’s purpose?
- Who am I really and who do I want to become?
When exploring your deepest thoughts and feelings, understand that an acorn can only become an oak tree. Regardless of what it aspires to become or think it wants to become, regardless of whether it gets the right amount of water and nutrients, it can only become an oak tree. Hanging onto the dream of becoming an apple tree will lead to a life of frustration. The art of life and the road to success is to become the best oak tree you can be. This quote attributed to Edison sums it up quite nicely: “I never did a day’s work in my life. It was all fun…” Edison worked up to 18 hours per day. Stressed? Sure. Positively.